SBN Winter 2022
We have a four day weekend thanks to Winter Storm Landon. The school districts and universities preemptively canceled classes Thursday and Friday. Good move. Central Texas is a huge ice skating rink at the moment.
Quiz time has become popular on the bus. It’s more challenging for me than for the kids. I have to come up with new questions nearly every day!
Here are some excerpts from recent quizzes:
Me: What is zero plus zero?
Most kids: Zero!
One kid in the back: One if you count the tax for the stupid government!
Me: If a snowman is made of snow, what is a reindeer made of?
Me: Does a school bus have a) Wheels, b) Wings, or c) Feet?
All the Kids chanting in unison: FEET, FEET, FEET, FEET!
Me: What is the square root of all evil?
The King of All Masks
I recently started wearing N95 masks on the bus due to the rapid spread of the omicron variant. There’s a shortage of bus drivers and teachers. We’ve had supervisors, dispatchers, and mechanics all out driving routes (yes, they’re all trained and certified to drive a bus.) The superintendent was seen teaching a math class.
So I upgraded to the N95 and they work! How do I know they work? Every afternoon a pack my bus with 47 high school students. Since I’ve been wearing N95 masks I CAN’T SMELL THE COLOGNE! For those who don’t know, I can’t stand cologne, perfume and most scented products. I don’t like being in the same room with someone wearing clothes washed in tide. My olfactory sensors are way too sensitive.
I Love my N95 masks!
Cruelty to animals?
One afternoon a middle school boy asked me if I wanted to see him throw cheese at his dog. Before I could say ’no thanks’ he held his phone in front of my face. The video showed an excited dog and a boy’s hand holding a slice of unwrapped cheese. He called the dog as he flung the slice of cheese. The cheese landed on the dog’s head. Try as he might, the poor dog could not reach the cheese with his tongue.
Two kids were singing a song one afternoon so I asked them about it. They said it was from a video game called Let’s Dance. They both liked the game and the singing and dancing. One of the kids said, “It tricks us into exercising.”
A middle school girl said, “Excuse me Mr. Bus Driver Man Sir, can I charge my phone?”
I said, “Charge your phone? On the bus? You mean, does it have a charging port? No, sorry. But it does have a CD player!”
The girl and her friends chuckled.
I said, “Seriously, it’s the latest in school bus entertainment technology!”
I couldn’t hear what they said after that but I think it was something like, “Don’t talk to him and maybe he’ll go away!”
Every year when I choose a bus route I make sure I have an elementary school. Those kids are the most work but also the most fun. When school lets out in the afternoon the teachers bring out the youngest ones first. Kindergarten and pre-k. One little girl was having a bad day and her teacher was losing her patience when she wouldn’t walk up the steps of the bus. I told her to leave her with me and that we’d be fine.
I picked up my guitar and started singing, “RayLynn, getting on the bus, RayLynn, she’s gonna ride with us”
The girl put a foot on the first step. So I kept singing. She eventually climbed to the top step and even cracked half a smile!
A day or two later RayLynn put her little arms around me and squeezed.
Another one of my little ones walks up the steps every day, then turns around, calling each of her classmates by name. “Bye, Charlie! Bye, Maria! Bye, Saanvi!”
Her classmates return the salutations with enthusiasm.
I said, “Who are those people?”
She said, “They’re my friends.”
I said, “Wow, you have a lot of good friends.”
She said, “Yeah.”
I said, “Maybe it’s because you’re such a good friend to them.”
She said, “Yeah.”